we have pet lesbian snakes
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
