Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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