God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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