On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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