I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
