I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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