apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
