So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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