can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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