I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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