why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Randomize
