In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
