I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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