Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
