I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
