This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
