Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
