week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
