I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
