HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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