Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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