Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
