he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
