he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
