The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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