The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
