Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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