Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
