i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
