doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
