At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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