you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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