does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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