I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
