They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
