I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
