Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I understand Curling. That high.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
