Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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