I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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