Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
