She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
