U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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