STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
