I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
