Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
