I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
