so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
