I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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