We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
