Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
