y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
