My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize