Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
