She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
