So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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