he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
