All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
