I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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